Welcome to my Life
by Moyashi.beansprout
Summary: Another Simple Plan songfic? There's no Yullen in this one though. And there's Lenallen . I'm sorry! I just felt bad for her... This is a really sad, angsty fic about Allen. It has a moderately happy ending though.


**Welcome to My Life  
A Songfic by Gaarin  
Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man. Durr. If I did, I'd have better things to do than write angsty fanfiction for my own manga. And I don't own this song either, it's Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan.  
Note: This fic was written by Gaarin. If you took the time to read it, then please take the time to review it! And if you don't even have that time, you can click on our username to go to our profile and vote for me on the poll! Thanks for reading, enjoy!**--

Mizuhara: The f*** is this?  
Gaarin: I found another great Simple Plan song. I could make a habit out of this!  
Mizuhara: *doom* Three up already??  
Gaarin: Lolyep. Ok, so this is a really angsty songfic, with no Yullen, but a bit of Lenallen. Oh, yeah, and it's sad.  
Mizuhara: Lenallen??  
Gaarin: I felt bad for Lenalee after that last vicious fanfic. So I made this un. Oh yeah, and plus, I love Simple Plan too. So yeah.  
Mizuhara: ... That band kind of sucks-  
Gaarin: (fwooom) SAND TOMB!!  
Mizuhara: For the last time, STOP MAKING OBSCURE NARUTO REFERENCES!  
Gaarin: xD Never!!!

--

Allen was sitting on the roof. It was a cold, frosty day in November. He was wearing a t-shirt, and some baggy jeans. He was cold, but he was not going inside.  
The door to the roof opened, and a figure stepped out.  
It was Lenalee.  
"Hey, Allen-kun! How are you? What are you doing up here on the roof?"

_Do you ever feel like breaking down?  
Do you ever feel out of place?  
Like somehow you just don't belong  
And no one understands you_

Allen couldn't exactly turn to Lenalee and say "I'm on the brink of insanity, walking the narrow line between emotionally disturbed and wrist-slittingly depressed."  
He swallowed.  
"I'm just reflecting."  
_  
Do you ever wanna run away?  
Do you lock yourself in your room?  
With the radio on turned up so loud  
That no one hears you screaming  
_  
Lenalee sat down beside him. Allen felt out of place sitting next to her. Lenalee was so pure, so untainted... She couldn't imagine the pain he was going through.  
"What are you thinking about?"  
Allen sighed. "I'm...... depressed."  
Lenalee nodded gravely. "I sympathize."  
Allen looked over unbelievingly at Lenalee again.  
_  
No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels alright  
You don't know what it's like to be like me  
_  
"I've had a rough day."  
Allen replied, "I've had a rough life."  
Lenalee looked at him, and saw with surprise that a tear was running down his cheek.  
She patted him on the back, trying to console him about whatever was wrong.  
"Allen, is something wrong?"  
Allen was hit by a truckload of memories, all at once.  
_  
To be hurt  
_  
'One of General Cross' debtors cornering him in an alleyway...'

_To feel lost  
_  
'After Mana had died...'

_To be left out in the dark  
_  
'Entering the Black Order...'

_To be kicked  
When you're down  
_  
'Fighting Lavi...'

_To feel like you've been pushed around  
_  
'Remembering the lion...'

_To be on the edge of breaking down  
_  
'Playing the piano, with the Fourteenth inside him...'  
_  
And no one's there to save you  
_  
Allen stood up, and put his back to Lenalee.  
_  
No you don't know what it's like  
_  
He let another tear fall down his cheek.

_Welcome to my life._Lenalee stood up, and said, "Hey, Allen? Are you okay?"  
Allen said nothing, just let two more tears drift down his cheek.  
Lenalee walked over, and stood in front of him. He admired her sympathy, and her fake understanding. He admired how she pretended like she knew what was going on, when she was in her perfect little bubble world, and he was in an airtight prison of death with darkness seeping in from all sides.  
_  
Do you wanna be somebody else?  
Are you sick of feeling so left out?_

Lenalee repeated herself. "Hey, Allen! Are you okay?"  
_  
Are you desperate to find something more  
Before your life is over?_

Allen said in a bitter voice, "Do I look okay, Lenalee?"  
Lenalee hugged him. "I'm sorry, Allen-kun? Maybe... If you told me what was wrong..."  
_  
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
Are you sick of everyone around?  
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies  
While deep inside you're bleeding_

Allen looked at Lenalee, and hugged her back. He breathed in her hair, which smelled fresh. The back of her coat was cold, and as Allen hugged her a tiny breeze went by.  
Allen felt so out of place hugging Lenalee. There was no way she could possibly conceive any of the hatred, the rebellion, the angst that he was going through right now. If Innocence were a person, she would be Lenalee.

_No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels alright  
You don't know what it's like to be like me_

Allen grinded his teeth together. It would break Lenalee's heart, but he couldn't keep all of this to himself any more, or he would go insane.  
In a low voice, Allen told her exactly what was wrong.

_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked  
When you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like_

Lenalee began to cry softly into Allen's shoulder as he told her about what Cross had done to him. How Mana had died. The evil possessive demon lurking inside his body, ready to break out. As Lenalee began, in the tiniest of ways, to conceive the immense pain and sorrow that Allen was going through, she began to cry for Allen, cry for what Allen was going through.

_Welcome to my life._

Allen looked down at Lenalee. The frail body next to him was shuddering with tears. Lenalee was so pure that just relating the incidents of his life to her was making her cry.  
_  
No one ever lied straight to your face  
And no one ever stabbed you in the back  
You might think I'm happy  
But I'm not gonna be ok!_

Allen released his hold, and Lenalee sagged.

_Everybody always gave you what you wanted  
You never had to work, it was always there  
You don't know what it's like  
What it's like!_

Allen stepped back, and stopped talking. Lenalee let go of him, and he saw with horror that her fists were clenched, and her face was contorted with pain. "Lenalee..."  
"Allen-kun... I'm sorry for all that you've been through... And there's no way that I could ever make- make that okay... But if it helps..."  
_  
To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked  
When you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)_

"I love you..."

_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked  
When you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like_

Allen looked at Lenalee, who looked devastated. "No... Nobody should have to go through all that... All those feelings... Alone... Allen-kun, I'll try to help you however I can..."

_Welcome to my life._

Allen embraced Lenalee again. He was not alone. He had friends... Kanda, Lavi, Krory, Miranda... Lenalee... He wouldn't ever be alone again...  
But I have the Fourteenth inside me...  
Screw the Fourteenth, said the voice in Allen's head. He'll take over when he does, and until he does, there's really no use fussing about it.  
_  
Welcome to my life.  
_  
Allen smiled, and pulled Lenalee closer to him. Maybe he could start a new life. Not put his past behind him, because it'd most likely stab him in the back, but put it aside.  
"I love you too."  
_  
Welcome to my life._

--

Mizuhara: *sniff sniff* Kleenex please?  
Gaarin: ... You liked it, didn't you?"  
Mizuhara: No. I'm crying because it sucked so much that it's pathetic.  
Gaarin: ... Right. Anyway, I can't believe I made another Simple Plan/ D. Gray-Man songfic.

Mizuhara: Tch. Me neither. This was too angsty… And lacking severely in Yullen.

Gaarin: Well, can you see Kanda comforting Allen on the roof?

Mizuhara: Maybe… if Kanda was drunk…

Gaarin: Pfft. Maybe if you were drunk un.

Mizuhara: Did you post both of these songfics in one day?

Gaarin: I was inspired.

Mizuhara: … Whatever.

Gaarin: *Tyki smirk* I knew you'd like it.


End file.
